Let's be honest. Newborns aren't really all that entertaining. Sure, you could spend hours gazing into their shut eyes and marvel at how sweet their poop smells, but apart from that, there isn't much more. I kid, I kid. Sure, I admit I spent much of those sleep-deprived days admiring my baby and wondering how the most. adorable. baby. in. the. whole. wide. world. could have come out of me. Me! My baby! But let's be honest. There were also days when I thought calling Child Protective Services would be a good idea because I was on the brink of violence. The days when I hadn't slept a wink for 24 hours straight, when my baby refused to take those naps that all the baby books promised he would, and when he wouldn't stop screaming bloody murder every single time I tried to put him down to rest my throbbing arms and back.
On days like that, I could have really used a good laugh or two. Where or where were these pacifiers and toupees when I needed them??
Pacifiers can be found here.
Baby toupees can be found here.